For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize