remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
