Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
