Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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