i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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