He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All I want is dick and wine.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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