Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
