? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
