Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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