Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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