I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
zippers are such a cool invention
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
