Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize