I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
