can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
