her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
