I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
