I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
