Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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