I'm gonna have a badass scar
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
