I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
