i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize