Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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