so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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