and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
