Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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