Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
