nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
