Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
