dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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