Small penises have feelings too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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