Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
