I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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