what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
