so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
