Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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