I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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