How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
a search helicopter?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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