i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
