We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
