If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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