Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
