1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Enjoy the penises
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
