So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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