dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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