I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
