You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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