a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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