Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
