i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize