I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
