My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize