I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Panties = found
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