i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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