piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
