I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
