he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
