At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
