Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
