Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
