i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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