i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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