Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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