We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
